WHEN ONE DOOR OF HAPPINESS CLOSES,
ANOTHER OPENS, BUT OFTEN WE LOOK
SO LONG AT THE CLOSED DOOR THAT WE
DO NOT SEE THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN
OPENED FOR US.
~HELEN KELLER
THIS TREE REPRESENTS THE WORLD SO TO SPEAK. LET'S PRETEND IT IS ANY WAY.
WHEN A PERSON SUFFERS A BROKEN HEART IT IS DIFFERENT FROM DEPRESSION.
PEOPLE JUST ASSUME BECAUSE WE ARE IN PAIN, FROM A CHILD, FOR INSTANCE,
PASSING ON TO HEAVEN THAT WE ARE DEPRESSED.
WHEN YOU ARE IN PAIN.....YOU ARE AWARE, VERY AWARE OF THE LOVE THAT HAS
BEEN TAKEN FROM YOU. WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED YOU DON'T FEEL LOVE AND
NOTHING MATTERS TO YOU. I THINK YOU CAN EVENTUALLY BECOME DEPRESSED
FROM YEARS OF PAIN AND NO COPING SKILLS BUT A BROKEN HEART
CAN MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE GOING CRAZY BECAUSE THE LOVE YOU FELT
SO DEEPLY IS GONE. I HOPE I MADE SENSE. WE, WITH PAINFUL HEARTS ARE
STILL CLOSE TO THE TREE AND EVENTUALLY OUR EXPERIENCE WILL GIVE OTHERS
HOPE WHEN THEIR HEARTS ARE SHATTERED. WILL I EVER STOP ACHING FOR MY
DAUGHTER, AMY.....NEVER. ASK ISABELLA, ASK DONNA, ASK JUDY, ASK BECKY,
ASK MELANIE, ASK ROSE, ASK BERNIE AND ALL THE OTHER MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S........
IT IS A PAIN THAT WILL CONTINUE UNTIL WE ARE REUNITED WITH THEM IN
HEAVEN.
I STILL HAVE PANIC ATTACKS AND CRY AND SO WISH I COULD SEE HER BUT
THE PRAYERS OF FRIENDS, "ESPECIALLY" WHO PRAYED FOR PEACE FOR ME HAVE
RECEIVED YOUR ANSWER IN PRAYER... EVERYDAY I FEEL "GOD'S PERFECT
PEACE," MORE AND MORE. LORETTA, BERNIE, QUEEN MOTHER MAMAW, MARY, KATH,
JUDY, DONNA, BARBARA, HOLLY, SANDIE, ERIN AND BENTLEY, MICHELLE, GLORIA, CHAR,
LYNN B., EVELYN R, CAROL AND LEXIE RAE, REBECCA, DORIS AND TAWNA, ROBBI,
MARTY, JENNIFER, SUE S., KAREN HARVEY COX, BETTY B, VINTAGE LIZZY, LAURIE,
SANDRA MATTA, SUE DRAUGHON, TERESA MARTENS, HEATHER THIBEAULT, JAMIE,
TRACIE GRACIE, STACIE, KELLY C, TAMMY NEIL, WILDFLOWER, SARES, HEIDI AT BARGAIN
HUNTING, MY MOTHER, MY BROTHER TED, MY IN-LOVES, MY HANDSOME SON AND HIS
WIFE MEGAN, AND SHERRY, WHO KEPT EVERYONE INFORMED WHEN AMY WAS IN
THE HOSPITAL. HOWEVER, AS A LOT OF SISTERS' DO, IN SPITE OF OUR DIFFERENCES, I KNOW
HOW DEEP SHE LOVED AMY AND WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE
TO HELP HER. I AM JUST ONE WHO CANNOT LET WHAT SOMEONE DID FOR MY
BELOVED AMY GO UNNOTICED. I HATE TO MAKE A LIST OF
PEOPLE BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS ONE PRECIOUS PERSON I LEAVE OUT THAT I
WOULDN'T HURT FOR THE WORLD OR WOULD EVER PURPOSELY LEAVE OUT.
GRACIE ANN WANTS TO GIVE A PECK TO A SPECIAL GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO
ARE BEAUTIFULLY TALENTED AND SO MYSTERIOUS AND THEY CREATE UNDER
THE NAME: "CRICUT CARD FAIRY"
WELL CRICUT CARD FAIRY CONSIDER YOURSELF GRACIE ANN PECKED.
THAT IS THE HIGHEST AWARD YOU CAN RECEIVE IN BLOGLAND
HAVE A GOOD AFTERNOON SWEET BLOGGERS
22 comments:
Yes, grief and depression are two different things. And I think you are right that you will always carry that grief with you, because the loss of Amy is just so very great.
I do think Jesus is aware and is watching closely over you. He has His reasons for things. As a nurse you know this: Sometimes you have to let a patient hurt -- you stand and watch as they must move from the surgery gurney to the bed by themselves -- some might say, "How unfeeling of that nurse! She could just reach out and help a bit!"
But the nurse just bears this insult, because she knows it is taking more love and skill to let the patients move themselves. They have to do it, they cannot heal without it, and they would be set back if helped at that point.
But of course the nurse is there, ready. I think Jesus is there, ready. I also think Amy is there, ready. I feel so bad for your pain, though.
Losing a child has to be one of the most awful, heartbreaking experiences that anyone could go through. I don't know how my cousin Amy does it. Last year 3 days after Christmas she lost one of her children. Ireland was only 11 months old and died in her sleep from unknown causes. I was amazed at Amy's strength to get through this. 6 weeks after losing Ireland, her husband committed suicide not being able to handle his depression. Still she goes on each and every day for her 3 remaining children. She is truly an amazing woman. Her love and strength seems boundless.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you for having to have to go through one of the hardest things imaginable to a parent. I can't even want to imagine what you are feeling.
Praying for you, Debbie! Thanking the Lord for sustaining you as you put the pieces of your life back together.
XO,
Sheila
Debbie, it's very nice to meet you. Thaks for leaving a comment. It took a while to figure out where you had left it though. Hee.
your blog is very light and fresh looking. nice.
BTw, it;s "BoxING" Day, not "BoxER" Day as you put, although that is kind of funny.
The bird on the card is an English Robin--they are the size of sparrows here, small and very darling. Always feels like cheer in a bleak mid winter's day.
So, will you join us on Creative Tuesdays perhaps?
After reading through you profile, my I just say I would appreciate your prayers as I am under a lot of family duress right now. Thank you.
Ohmygoodness, that stroy from White farmhouse is so tragic. That poor poor woman. sometimes like can be so hard. I am sorry for your loss too.
I am glad you have a very supportive family around and faith to carry you through it seems. Still, the loss is unbearable i'm sure at times. My heart aches for you here.
I wouldn' t expect the pain from losing a child would ever completely go away. It has to be the worst pain in the world. You are still and always in my prayers, hoping that you find strength to learn to live your life without Amy's "physical" presence, because I know her spirit must fly around you continuously, urging you on and filling you with all her love until the day you meet again.
Debbie it is evident in your posting that you are struggling, but moving on. That is the normal way. Whatever is normal. Each one moves ahead and falls back at their own pace. As Penniwig said a good nurse allows the pain and struggle so that the patient builds up strength. Blessings
QMM
Oh sweet Debbie, you realize that your grief is not depression, many others will not. Great sadness is much different than depression and you are feeling a great sadness. We learn to accept and live with the sadness knowing that we must our child would want us to as we would want them to if it were us that had moved on first.....God never leaves us and if you listen closely you will hear Amy......:-) Hugs
Hello Debbie,
You are so right, quite a big difference between depression and grief. I have always believed that the things that happen to us no matter what...., happen so that we will be able to help others.
Everything you have shared I totally agree. Such great insight you have!!
You continue to challenge me to grow in my walk with the Lord.
Blessings,
Sue
You are always in my thoughts and prayers, Debbie... I think you are doing fine... It is just going to take some time. Time doesn't heal but it helps.... Amy wants you to be happy and she also wants you to go on with your life. You are doing just that!! God Bless.
Hugs,
Betsy
Hi Debbie, Stopping by to say hello and let you know the prayers and hugs are with you today. Can we come in to Door two with you?
P.S. My prayers for Whitehouse Farm's cousin and family.
Howdy Debbie
Blessings to you sweetie.
My prayers continue for you and others as they walk this difficult path.
Your words are so deeply touching .
May you feel the depth of Gods healing day by day ,moment by moment .
I also add my prayers to yours for the Whitehouse farm family and so many others you faithfully share with us here in blogland.
You are truly an amazing woman like your precious Amy Dawn you are a gift from God.
Thank you for sharing such profound words today.
Big Hugs
God Bless You always
Just want to tell you again, like all the others - thoughts and prayers are being said for you every day.
Love and (((hugs)))
Sandie
Dear Debbie, Thank You for sharing this with us! In reading your words I felt the touch of an Angel I am sure. Debbie...Your hurt is so healing,your words touch my heart,it is in your determination to be strong that I gather strength. I hope to share it with you...or someone everyday!
I shall gather up the hearts..the love from your tree of the world...and I leave you with...remember they have not fallen...they do not go unpicked...they thru this post have been shared with us! And when I gather the hearts that have come from your tree...I will use them as seeds to replenish the world with love! Hugs my dear and thank you again so much for this beautiful posting!
Debbie,
I'm glad you have chosen door #2. How can your heart not be broken when you have suffered one of the greatest loss's of all, a child. I can not begin to imagine what that is like. I'm thankful that if in some small way my words or expresssions of love to you made you smile for even a moment then I know I have succeeded in reaching out to you in this journey through grief that you are walking. No one can tell you "how to grieve" the right way...because there is no right way. I just hope that with each new day you can pick up some of the pieces to your broken heart (think of those PIECES as precious memories of Amy)and through you tears you will be able to smile again. Your heart will ALWAYS be broken, because a PIECE of it went to HEAVEN with Amy. Your strength amazes me sweet Debbie.
Hugs,
Lynn
Love the quote Debbie.
Thank you for the words.
Keep writing dear one.
Hugs and blessings!
Regina
Your new Blog is beautiful Debbie :) You and your family continue to be in my prayers each and every day and I'm wishing you some smiles along the way. Your love and compassion for others continues to inspire me my dear. You are definitely walking the path God chose for you, and I know He will lead you to brighter and happier days :)
My prayers for the Cousin of Whitehouse Farm Family as well. May God Bless her and her children.
Hi Debbie, thanks for stopping by to visit:) I can imagine your fibro. is in a HUGE flare up after all you've been through, I had a big one after the passing of a family member a few years ago. Actually it hasn't been too bad, I am on cymbalta for it and it does help, although I've gained weight while on it. I'm in so much pain now from the discs, I probably wouldn't even notice if it was flaring! You have an amazing strength and faith Debbie, and you know you and Amy will be together again one day:) God had an important job for her that we don't know, but in the end we will all know and it will all make sense. In the meantime, we are all here for you to talk or listen and we love you dear Debbie!
Hi Debbie, your new blog is simply beautiful, just like you and your sweet Amy Dawn. You are right about grieving and depression. Everyone grievs differently. I would rather carry the pain in my heart forever than feel nothing.
Papa Pete once told me it hurt to much too care so he made a concious decision in his teens to stop caring. It explained so much about his relationship with my father and aunts, and even us grandchildren. It wasn't until he was very old that he finally realized not caring was no way to live. He almost waited too late but I'm glad he finally saw the light.
Thank you for sharing.
Dawn
Oh Debbie, honey, I have only just met you and yet today I cried with you. I have not walked in your shoes, but I certainly feel others grief. Thank you for stepping into my world and inviting me into yours. Big, big hugs to you. Marla
I came across you cause I loved the name of your blog. I enjoyed it and will try and visit again. God bless, Deb
PS love all your quotes!
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