WELCOME TO SIMPLY DEBBIE. IT IS MY DESIRE THAT
YOU WILL FEEL AND SEE THE HAND OF GOD THROUGH
ARTWORK, CRAFT PROJECTS, RECIPES, AND THE SHEER
LAUGHTER OF ME LEARNING TO SEW ON MY NEW
SEWING MACHINE. THIS IS A PRAYING BLOG AND
A BLOG THAT LOVES TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
WON'T YOU JOIN ME AS WE GREET 2011 AND ITS'
BLESSINGS, CHALLENGES, AND SMELLING THE ROSES
EVERY DAY. I'LL BE YOUR UMBRELLA WHEN STORM
CLOUDS COME YOUR WAY AND ASSURE YOU THERE
WILL BE A RAINBOW COME AGAIN.










Thursday, June 24, 2010

IT'S THE UNEXPECTED THINGS..."ACCEPTANCE"

XOXO...AMY...XOXO
ALWAYS  IN  OUR  HEARTS








IT'S  SO  CURIOUS:  ONE  CAN  RESIST

TEARS  AND  BEHAVE  VERY  WELL  IN

THE  HARDEST  HOUR  OF  GRIEF.

BUT  THEN  SOMEONE  MAKES  YOU  A

FRIENDLY  SIGN  BEHIND  A  WINDOW,

OR  ONE  NOTICES  THAT  A  FLOWER 

THAT  WAS  A  BUD  ONLY  YESTERDAY

HAS  SUDDENLY  BLOSSOMED,  OR  A

LETTER  SLIPS  FROM  A  DRAWER...

AND  EVERYTHING  COLLAPSES.

~COLETTE


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MY  PRAYERS  CONTINUE  TO  BE

WITH  MOLLYE,  HER  PUNKIN,  AND

CHILDREN.

MAY  THEY  FEEL  THE  PEACE

AND  LOVE  OF  THE  LORD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I  HAVE  NEVER  MOVED  AMY'S

CLOTHES  FROM  HER  HOUSE  OR  MINE.

QUITE  FRANKLY  THE  ONLY  THING  THAT

HAS  LEFT  HER  HOUSE  IS  HER

WASHING  MACHINE  AND  DRYER  AS

RICHIE  AND  MEGAN'S  W&D  BROKE.

AMY  HAD  A  BEAUTIFUL  W&D  AND  I

COULD  NOT  SEE  IT  SETTING  IN  THE

BASEMENT  OF  HER  HOUSE  WHEN

MY  SON  AND  HIS  LOVELY  WIFE  NEEDED

IT.

I  LOVE  TO  SMELL  AMY'S  CLOTHES.

THEY  SMELL  JUST  LIKE  HER.

SHE  LOVED  BATH  AND  BODY  WORKS

AND  I  NEVER  KNEW  WHEN  SHE  CAME

OUT  OF  HER  BATH  IF  SHE  WOULD

SMELL  LIKE  A  CHERRY  ORCHARD,

A  PEACH,  OR  A  CUCUMBER.  WE  USE

TO  LAUGH  ABOUT  THAT  ALL  THE  TIME.

SHE  TOOK  EXCELLENT  CARE  OF  HER

SKIN...ONLY  SHE  WENT  TO  THE  TANNING

BOOTH.  I  ASK  HER  TIME  AND  TIME  AGAIN

TO  NOT  DO  IT,  HAVING  HAD  A  BAD 

CANCER  WHEN  SHE  WAS  A  GIRL.

BUT  SHE  CONTINUED  BECAUSE  SHE

SAID  IT  FELT  SO  WONDERFUL  TO  HER

SKIN.

I  MISS  HER  SO  VERY  MUCH.  I  STILL

LISTEN  FOR  HER  TO  COME  THROUGH

THE  DOOR  AND  SET  DOWN  HER  PURSE

THAT  WAS  ALMOST  AS  BIG  AS  HER...

HER  SIGNATURE  WAS  TO  TIE  ONE  OF

MY  SCARVES  ON  THE  STRAP  OF  HER

PURSE...AND  ANDY  AND  SPACEY  WOULD

TAKE  TURNS  STICKING  THEIR  HEAD  IN

HER  PURSE.  SPACEY  IS  LIKE  A  RACCOON...

HE  LOOKS  FOR  SHINY  THINGS  AND  THEN

WHEN  YOU  LEAVE  THE  ROOM  HE  TAKES

WHAT  HE  FANCIES  AND  THEN  RUNS  TO 

HIS  HIDING  PLACE.  ONCE  WE  FOUND  HIS

STASH:  3  NECKLACES  AND  5  STRAWS.

OH  YEAH...IF  YOU  ARE  NOT  LOOKING  HE

WILL  STEAL  THE  STRAW  OUT  OF  YOUR

CUP.  I  HOPE  HE  IS  NOT  TEACHING

WALKER  TALKER  HIS  WAYS.

EARLY  THIS  MORNING  I  WAS  STANDING

IN  THE  KITCHEN,  LOOKING  AT  THE 

ROOSTERS  SHE  HAD  BOUGHT  FOR  ME

AT  DIFFERENT  TIMES  AND  THE  TEAPOT

LAMP  I  KEEP  ON  IN  HER  MEMORY.  IT

LIGHTS  THE  KITCHEN  AS  I  WALK

THROUGH.

IT  HIT  ME  SO  VERY  HARD.....

"ACCEPTANCE!"

I  KNEW  AMY  WAS  IN  HEAVEN  BUT

I  DID  NOT  WANT  TO  ACCEPT  IT.

I  FOUGHT  IT  AS  HARD  AS  I  COULD.

BUT  THIS  MORNING  I  GRIEVED  AND 

MOANED  AND TRAVAILED.  IT  HAS

TAKEN  ME  8  MONTHS  TO  GET  TO

THIS  POINT  AND  I  FEEL  EMPTY  AND

EXHAUSTED.  BUT  AS  I  PUSH  INTO

GOD  HE  WILL  HUG  ME  EVEN  TIGHTER

AND  HE  KNOWS  ALL  THINGS  AND  I

TRUST  HIM.  YES,  I  TRUST  YOU

LORD  JESUS  WITH  MY  WHOLE  HEART.

GIVE  AMY  A  BIG  HUG  FOR  ME,  LORD

AND  REMIND  HER  HOW  MUCH  HER

MOTHER,  DADDY  AND  BROTHER  LOVE

HER.  I  WILL  NEED  YOUR  HELP

LORD  AS  I  WALK  THIS  ROAD  OF

ACCEPTANCE.  BLESS THOSE

SWEET  BLOGGERS  WHO  HAVE  BEEN 

SO  VERY  KIND  AND  SUPPORTIVE

TO  ME.  TOUCH  THOSE  I  HAVE  MET

LORD,  WHO  HAVE  CHILDREN  IN  HEAVEN

WITH  YOU.

HEAL  THOSE  LORD,  WHO  ARE  BEING

ATTACKED  WITH  THIS  CANCER  AND

GIVE  THEIR  FAMILIES  REST,  PEACE,

AND  STRENGTH  TO  RUN  THE  RACE.

  WE,  WHO  HAVE  HAD  TO  GIVE  OUR

CHILDREN  BACK  TO  YOU,

  ARE  A  MEMBER  OF  A  GROUP

  WE  DON'T  WANT  TO  BELONG 

TO.

I  LOVE  YOU  LORD

YOUR  DAUGHTER,  DEBBIE





THANK  YOU  FOR  JOINING  GRACIE  ANN

AND  ME  TODAY.  IT  MEANS  SO  MUCH  TO

ME.  I  DON'T  KNOW  IF  SOME  OF  YOU

KNOW  BUT  I  TYPE  IN  CAPITAL  LETTERS

BECAUSE  OF  THE  DAMAGE  CAUSED  TO

MY  EYES  FROM  DIABETES.  IT  MAKES

IT  EASIER  FOR  ME  TO  SEE ESPECIALLY

ON  PINK  SATURDAY  WHEN  I  TRY  TO 

VISIT  AT  LEAST  60  PLUS  PEOPLE.

THIS  BLOG  IS  LIKE  MY  JOURNAL.

I  HAVE  ALWAYS  SPOKE  FROM  MY

HEART.  WHAT  I  RITE  IS  NOT  MEANT

TO  BE  DEPRESSING  OR  HEAVY  FOR

ANYONE...I  HOPE  IT  WILL  HELP  ANY

ONE  WHO  IS  HURTING.

DEATH  CAN  BE  A  LOSS  OF  A  JOB,

A  DIVORCE, THE  GULF  OIL  SPILL  OR  ANY 

THING  THAT  CAUSES  YOU  GRIEF.

WITH  ALL  GRIEF  COMES  THE  DIFFERENT

STAGES...AND  THE  FINAL  IS

"ACCEPTANCE."

I  LOVE  LOOKING  AT  YOUR

BEAUTIFUL  HOMES  AND  THEY  TAKE 

ME  AWAY  TO  A  PLACE  THAT  INSPIRES

ME.

I  DON'T  ALWAYS  SHOW  MY  FLUFF

BUT  I  STILL  NEED  YOU  AND  YOUR

COMMENTS. 

THAT  IS  WHAT  KEEPS  ME  GOING.

I  WEAR  MY  HEART  ON  MY  SLEEVE  AND

WHEN  YOU  HURT  I  HURT...AND  I  WANT

TO  BE  OF  HELP  AND  SO  I  PRAY.

I  AM  AS  POOR  AS  A  CHURCH  MOUSE 

BUT  I  AM  "WEALTHY"  IN  JESUS.

THE  ONLY  THING  I  WANT  IS

MY  DAUGHTER  AND  THAT  WILL  NOT

BE  GIVEN  TO  ME  IN  THIS  LIFE.

"ACCEPTANCE"

LOVE,  HUGS,  AND  BLESSINGS

SIMPLY  DEBBIE

9 comments:

Bernie said...

Debbie, I am so happy for you. Along with acceptance comes a bit of relief that it is okay to move on.....we all grieve differently and go through the stages at different times. Letting go was so hard for me but like you I knew it, and felt it when it happened. God is good Debbie, our children are happy with God and one day we will join them.
Stay strong and be well......always keeping you in my prayers......:-) Hugs

Regina said...

Beautiful post Debbie dearest.
You write deeply.
Have a wonderful week.
xoxo

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Good Morning Sweet Debbie, I have always LOVED your "all caps" posts, they seem to be SCREAMING "LOOK AT ME, I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!".
I know today must have been draining for you. I'm very, very proud of you~
I think I will tie a scarf around my purse and head to the grocery store. I think it will somehow give me some of Amy's strength....I so need it!
Have a beautiful Thursday DEBBIE!
much ♥,Lilly

Terra said...

Debbie, you are a bright light shining in the dark to all who read your posts here, and probably to everyone you encounter during your day. This post was so sensitive and beautifully written, and you made some progress as you grieved and moaned.
You are so strong to love God even in the hardest loss.
Bless you, Terra

Chatty Crone said...

Oh Debbie that was a beautiful letter. When I went to my grief group those moments are called SUG - sudden upsurge of grief - they come when you least expect it and they are normal.

When my brother died - and I had never ever done this before or for a matter of fact after - was I wailed. I had read about it in the Bible, but didn't think it was much more then crying, but wailing is a whole different cry. I can't explain it.

And don't beat up on yourself so much - 8 months or 8 years - there is no time to be done grieving.

Be gentle on yourself like Amy was to you.

And I say hurray for letting your son have the washer and dryer - Amy will live on through things like that.

I pray for sweet Mollye too.

(((hugs))) sandie

Claudia said...

Dearest Debbie, You write so honestly about your grief and what you go through on any given day. Acceptance is hard indeed, but it release something, doesn't it? And with the release comes some healing.

xoxo
Claudia

Heidi Pocketbook said...

Debbie, you are one inspiring and amazing woman. I can't begin to imagine how much you miss Amy...

Meg said...

Hi Debbie,
I've been on your sight for a long time, getting to know you and wishing I could meet Amy. It will be two years in October since Jonathan died[I just can't say that word passed] and I still have not gone through his things. His brothers brought all his stuff here right after his death but they can't go through it yet either. I have his bandanna in my sock drawer and I smell it often.In April I went to a seminar on grieving after loosing a child and the one thing they said that helped me was "You will never be the same" of course I already knew that but having someone confirm it made it more real. Sometimes the pictures I have all over the place are comforting and sometimes they make me hysterical.I never apologize for my tears the are my expression of love to one I can no longer hold and I know I need them. Be blessed today my dear friend. I will feature you on my PS blog tomorrow. Your friend Meg

Bellesanbeaus said...

I just found your blog and had to stop and tell you...I am sending you a huge hug right now. I so envy your acceptance ...I still can't accept my mothers passing and July 7 will be a year. Some days are better than others but it all comes back to that raw stage. I know this in no way compares to loosing a child...I have 4 grown of my own and I so can't even imagine what your going thru. Is this where there is only one set of footsteps in the sand for us? Hoping you have a wonderful weekend...Beth